Suffering - Living In the In Between

“So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” Luke 11:9

I’ve read this verse over and over, and today Jesus brings me in... 

I see myself crawling to the door, barely able to tap upon it, but nothing happens. 

I pull myself together and knock twice; the door swings open, and Jesus is greeting me with a smile. 

As I enter, He closes the door behind me, locking the world out. It’s just Him and me in an empty room. 

Jesus opens His arms and holds me tight, my shoulders drop, and I let out a sigh of relief. 

How can I help you?, He asks. 

I want to turn back time. I want to see my Daddy and hold Mom's hand. I want peace and love in our family. 

Jesus pulls me in closer. I know the cross is heavy, but without the cross, there is no resurrection. We lock eyes and exchange a smile. He knows He is speaking to my heart.

Embracing the Cross

I remind myself often in prayer to live in the resurrection of Jesus’s life. He died on that cross for us, to rise to glory for us! This life brings us to the cross often, and when it does, I call upon Jesus to help me readjust to make room for Him to yoke up with me. That huge cross becomes something lighter—small enough to hold in the palm of my hand. In surrender, I can accept it and allow it to console me once again. Little by little, He shows me each cross and reminds me where He stands with me, putting my mind at ease.

Living in the Light of the Resurrection 

I found my joy again, and with it, I also found an unexplainable love. I often pray for God’s lenses, because the world can feel too heavy for my fragile heart to bear. Let’s just say His lenses come with the best polarization—it’s so bright! I still have internal work that will last a lifetime, but for now, I am blessed with a heart full of joy and great love, even amidst the chaos that surrounds me.

This is a little glimpse into the days of grief - days when even getting dressed and leaving the house felt impossible. Yet most days, I found myself at Mass or sitting quietly in adoration, not quite sure how I had even gotten there. It was there that I was dependent on God's right hand to guide me. 

If you find yourself drowning in the world around you, I invite you back to the sacraments. Let Jesus and your community greet you with open and loving arms. If you need a safe place to land, we are here for you at The Light Project, ready to love and support your burdens with ease, knowing that there is a resurrection to come. 

”You have made me witness many troubles and evils, but you will give me back my life. You will raise me from the depths of the earth; you will exalt me.” ~Psalm 71:21

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Tonia Cormier, a beloved handmaid of the Lord, is originally from Carencro and now lives in Scott with her husband Damon and their son Cade. She enjoys a peaceful life, often taking in the beauty of sunsets from her patio. Deeply faithful, Tonia treasures time with family and friends and is passionate about making others feel the love of Jesus through her prayers, adoration, and everyday encounters.

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