For a long time I struggled to remember who God created me to be. I knew I had a purpose. I knew there was something He made me to do. There was a job, an assignment, that He wanted me to complete, and I needed to figure out what that was and get it done.
I didn’t realize at the time how skewed that perspective was. That viewpoint took God’s love for me out of the equation. Well, not totally. It made God’s love something to be earned. "If I complete this mission, then God will love me." So, I was always hustling and striving and searching, constantly frustrated and angry and unfulfilled because I just couldn’t figure out the task.
It took me a long while to understand that all I had to do, the only job, the only assignment that God had given me was to be who He created me to be. As Matthew Kelly puts it, to become the very-best-version-of-myself. Even though I understood it, I still struggled to simply be.
Several years ago, I went on retreat. While there, God reminded me that I was “light-filled”. I was so excited to remember this, and I was ready to share it with the world! The problem with this for me was that I didn’t know what that meant. I mean, yes there are all of the sayings that we hear and use all the time.
“Let your light shine.”
“Don’t hide your light.”
You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14
Great! But I was still confused, and I felt this overwhelming responsibility. I knew this light was His light shining through me, but what I didn’t know was what to do with it to make it shine, to keep it bright for others.
I was searching for the playbook to know how to care for and share His light. I spent the next few years searching for the answer. I knew I had this light inside of me that sometimes was a large burning flame and sometimes was as dim as the glow of embers left in the ashes to burn themselves out.
Slowly but surely, God helped me to understand what my light is and what to do with it. The journey was filled with articles, reflections, asking questions, prayers, words from a friend or even a stranger, looking for that spark in others (in everything!), songs, personal revelations. Little by little I started to understand.
Yes, our light is the light of God shining through us. It is always there because He is always with us, and if I want to nurture that flame, and share it with others, and not hide it under a bushel then I need to stay in relationship with the Source. The brightness of the light is a direct reflection of my connection with the Lord. The more I listen to Him, and talk to Him and sit with Him, and stay in His presence, the brighter that holy light is. The more I stay in relationship with others and nature, the more I stay in relationship with Him and the stronger that light glows.
That’s what it means to let your light shine. It means having holy friendships, and holy moments, and holy interactions. Allowing the little bit of Christ in me to connect with the Christ in others so that we all may shine with His love. That’s the Body of Christ! How can there be any shadow left in the world if the entire earth is shining in all things everywhere?! That sounds like Heaven to me.
Wishing you Love and Light!
Leah
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